Sex and Our City

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Joi De Vivre

Okay, I guess it's my turn.

I'm Joy and I'm the "old lady" of the bunch at a whopping 37 years. And though I'm chronologically older than the others on this site, I am still very young-at-heart and have found that my taste in men hasn't necessarily aged with me. Some might argue that's a problem, but I prefer to consider it a challenge.

I've been single more than I've been double. And it seems strange to me. Well, it seems strange to me that any of us are single, frankly. All of us posting here are intelligent, attractive, creative, empowered women - what the hell is the problem with men out there? Seriously, we are not a bunch of couch potatoes pining away for men as we consume pints of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and watch romantic comedies. We are active, pretty, fascinating women! Nor do we consider men the "enemy." In spite of all our trials and tribulations, we still LIKE them. What exactly is the disconnect?

My sister once told me I was "too strong", that men wanted women who needed to be taken care of. HUH? She suggested I "pretend" to be weaker and then clue the man in over time. Well, it got her an abusive ex-husband so thanks but no thanks.

I'm not a game player. I am who I am. I like that I can take care of myself - I don't NEED a man. But that doesn't preclude me from WANTING one.

So I find myself in the world of online dating. I have had some success with this, but obviously nothing has "stuck." I get a lot of "winks" and e-mails for men on the site, but I kept hiding my profile when only a short time has passed. I'm just not happy with the men I hear from and though my friends say I'm vain (and I readily agree), I don't believe I should settle. I'm not saying I won't COMPROMISE - it's a different idea altogether. But I'm not about to begin a relationship with somebody who doesn't even thrill me on paper (and believe me, it's easier to look good on paper than it is in person).

So I debate my options: the bar scene, a more "sophisticated" matching system, guys from work, or luck.

Well, the bar scene is risky for several reasons - most of them being STDs. I'm a self-proclaimed wild child but I prefer risking my life in other ways - fast motorcycles and sky-diving are more my style.

Those more "sophisticated" matching systems appear to get more complaints online than compliments so the idea of laying down over $1000 to be as disappointed as I am now doesn't appeal to me.

Guys from work are GREAT. Oddly enough, the two loves of my life I met - basically - through work. However, they're only great to a point. I work in an industry where everybody knows everybody else more or less so that can get dicey if there's a break-up. It's not impossible . . . just not ideal. And to be honest, single straight men in my industry are a rare breed. SIGH.

So I guess I'm left with luck. I'm open to that option. It's not at all reliable, but what is really?
Luck lead me to several boyfriends.

And in spite of all I've been through and my outwardly cynical appearance, I'm still hopeful.

So that's MY story and I'm sticking to it.

1 Comments:

  • At 8:03 PM, Blogger KOB said…

    Interesting, entertaining addition to the dc blog world.

     

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