Sex and Our City

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Sad Good-byes

Yesterday I said "good-bye" to the Sailor.

I am very blue today. He leaves on Friday for South Carolina and from there will most likely go to Kuwait.

I am surprised how hard it was to leave him. I was more emotional than I thought I would be.

But why should I be surprised? I mean, I've been spending every weekend with him (with one exception) since his last shipping adventure in January. He has been my constant companion - even hanging out at my workplace when I've had weekend shifts.

I suppose what really hit me was the idea of him NOT being with me every weekend and how lonely that would feel.

Yes, of course I have terrific friends who I imagine will make the next four months fly by. I have a new project to work on that will also keep me busy and before long my garden will be demanding my attention. Plus I am training for a half marathon and considering a fall marathon (but which one?). So it's not as if I won't be able to fill the time.

So why the tears yesterday (yes, ladies, I cried)? What exactly makes us grow attached to a person? True, I'll miss the sex - but it's so much more than that. My friends here know I am an active person - I love being out and about, seeing and doing - but with the Sailor I am content just to sit with him and chat. We've been known to spend entire days just hanging out at either his or my place doing close to nothing. I don't know that I've ever dated anybody and felt happy just being in his presence without wanting to go somewhere or do something.


It's all a mystery to me.

What I do know is that I'll miss doing nothing with him terribly. I'm sure the four months will go by quickly . . . and of course I worry about "the cost" . . . will we both be able to hang on? Has our brief time together been enough to build a strong enough foundation on which to rely?

I can say my answer now is an emphatic YES. But how will I feel two months down the road? I guess there's no point in wondering or worrying about the future. Just take it a day at a time and know come August I can give him a happy hello.


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