Sex and Our City

Monday, June 19, 2006

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

It's true.

But I never realized how hard it is sometimes until I tried to break up with the Sailor last week.

Yup, TRIED. He listened, but basically said NO. Huh? Have I stepped into an episode of Seinfeld?

Now, I realize I've been more or less quiet since he left two months ago. I can't explain why I lost that loving feeling . . . I think it had been coming on for a while . . . but I am no longer in the same place emotionally I was when he left. I still care for him. That may sound crazy, but I do - I care a great deal. I just don't have romantic feelings for him any more.

So he didn't take my first attempt very well.

Two days later I got a new job and he was left with no choice.

So last night, we broke up again. Done. No do-overs. And I'm really sad. Sad for the loss of what we had and for the plans we made that won't happen now. I hurt because he hurts. And it makes me wonder if I've made a big mistake. I know I haven't. I can't be what he wants me to be . . . but today I wish I could.

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